October 13/Friday the 13th/Grudge 2 Yadda

Was supposed to have a movie night at a friend's but that didn't happen... I talked to Steve this morning... GOD I LOVE THAT MAN... we're really putting our hearts on the line for him being here this xmas... I almost don't want to set my heart for xmas... everytime i hope for something... it doesn't happen... I want this to happen this xmas... I want pix and kisses and romance... That's what him being here is all about... His first trip here at least... I really want him here... i need him here... I love him... i'm almost scared though to put too much out there... He's greatest man in the world and any girl is lucky to have him... but he... he's almost too perfect... we've only fought 3 times the entire 15 months we've been together... hehe 15 months next Saturday... hehe... I love him... I know in my heart and gut that he's mine but... it's so hard sometimes... I don't like anyone here! I guess what makes me think the negative is him telling me that i should stay single till he's here... I don't want that. I've told him that. The more he says it the more i'm tempted to go out on a date with a guy. Any guy. But i don't want aht... the temptation of this is the smallest of small... it's getting harder cause sometimes it feels like he's hiding something because he wants me to be single till he shows up on my doorstep... i dunno... oh well... i'm not single... i'm taken...