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Finally returning to reading class though... my proj still isn't finished and I still have to do notes for Chapter 5...
I have an interview tomorrow! OMG i still can't believe it! On top of that, I don't know if I have mentioned it... but Steve
and I are... separated suppose you could say. I thought we had broke up on Saturday cause that's all he was talking about.
He thinks that we made up. I'm confused. Well, whatever the case, it will have to wait for now. I know (Steve) won't like
this but I got asked out to celebrate getting a job with Jake. I do like Jake. I don't see a future with him cause he's a
close friend but... I dunno... I love Steve no matter what and I want to meet him in March and spend the rest of my life with
him... but lately he's been pissing me off, we're fighting, and I dunno... I feel like we're from different planets than different
continents. It's not a date... me and Jake celebrating that he's got a job and (hopefully) I have a job. It's crazy right
now. I love Steve and that will never change. I hope that he doesn't take this in account to me saying its over cause obviously
it's not. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so confused. I don't wanna start a new relationship right now if it is the
case that me and steve did break up. I didn't want a relationship during my first semester of college as it was but things
changed. I broke up, I went out, i got broken up with, then I got back together... now i'm broken up again? it doesn't make
sense. Maybe what we should do... is see what else is out there between now and march. I don't want steve wasting his money
to come and see a girl he may not like once he's met. He says that won't happen but... ya never know. I want to believe him
but I just don't know anymore. I don't even know me anymore. I'm that confused. I think what we should do is take one last
stab at people then... if neither of us are interested in anyone but each other then March will be official... we could part
between now and February 14 (Valentine's Day). Then on valentine's day if he doesn't have interest in anyone but me and I
haven't found interest. Then we will meet in March and we'll see how perfect we are together... but till then... i'm just
not sure... I don't want to break up though... i don't want him or i do find someone better... I don't want to wait... but
it's not our choice...
It's fate's.
More tomorrow...
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