November 28 Yadda

Walmart called. I have orientation on Friday at 1pm. I'm kinda nervous and scared. OMG I'm fucking watching made it's hilarous. Fucking blond wants to be a fucking soccer player. I thought u know... that it might be interesting to watch... but... she's just a whiny little bitch... jeez... ywah but anyways... I have to get ready for class tonight... I have to double check my project and take a shower. I have 3 math sections plus final exam study guide, writing assignment in reading due tomorrow, and start studying for my exams the 14 and 15 of December. Jake and I are divorcing because "i'm too weird"... ywah i'm married to a lot of ppl. Jakey don't wuv me anymore. D and I talked for 2 hours on the reg phone. I guess I kinda scared him today when I texted him and said that my night was bad and my morning was worse. He really does care and like me. I'm really excited about Chicago. I'm meeting new people, starting a new friendship, maybe a new potential relationship, and... I'm gonna TONS of fun... I guess Steve was right in a small way. I do need to fly on my own for a little while. I don't think that me and Steve will get back together. I wish we would. I love him so much... but he just doesn't fight for me. I gave him my heart and he put it in a lion's den. I don't need or want that. I want him to take my heart... and keep with him, protect it, and love it. He should find someone there too. I don't think it would work with him having to save up money constantly to come out and see me. He already said that he wsn't sure he wanted to move here till i'm done with my education. If things were to start and work out with D... then at least he's here. He can give me flowers, kiss me, hug me, wrestle around with me, and do things that Steve just can't do. He doesn't appreciate some things abou me either... steve doesn't... so... it's pretty much over. Until he fights for me. If he fights for me, then I'm his. If he isn't, then I'm free to make my decision on continuing my life single until i find someone else. D and I are so much alike. Same personality and same wants. Anyways...