Another day "single". Another day I ponder if this is the right way to save my relationship with Steve. Another day I
try to look at guys as more than a friend. What's the point of looking? What's the point of "spreading my wings"? I have a
big conflict: if I date, "shop around" as some call it, then Steve may get angry because I actually went out and did that;
if I don't date, then Steve complains that he's "holding me back". It is MY choice to be with him and only him. MY choice
to not go looking behind his back. If I like a guy then I attempt to go for it. I don't like anyone more than a friend. Jake
and D are only friends of mine. Honestly, if I had never met Steve, then I would not have met Jake or D. They are great guys
who I luv to death... AS FRIENDS. IF things were really over... IF I didn't still want Steve and ONLY Steve, then yeah...
I'd go for either Jake or D. It hurts to say that but it's the truth. I don't want them. I want Steve. Maybe Steve doesn't
feel the same. Maybe the reason why he wants me to date is because he doesn't want ME anymore. I will always love him. Whatever
happens happens. D is gonna be here in Januarty so... if anything happens with D, then it's a sign that me and Steve aren't
meant to be like I thought they were. If things don't happen, then it's a huge thing! Me and Steve are meant to be. So I guess
I'll find out in January. I know nothing is there between me and Jake are officially ONLY friends. D and I talk all the time
so... who knows... We'll just have to wait and see.
So yeah... there's my love life thought for the day...
Class is in a little over an hour and a half. We're just doing Chapter 5 and then a quick review for the test on Wednesday.
I CAN'T BELEVE THAT THANKSGIVING IS ON THURSDAY!!!! Yeah so... yeah. I have one class today, three tomorrow, and then my test
on Wednesday. There is my week. Thanksgiving is Thursday. Today I am going in for my drug test. Drinking lots of caffiene
today!!! I drink lots of caffiene everyday so it's just normal for me. Unless caffiene is a drug... then i'm clean. I'm just
gonna go and piss in a cup, go home, do my chores, study for my test, finish my math homework, and start on my art project.
It's on my fav singer so I have no worries.
So there's my college/today stuff...
I gots no more... maybe I will later... maybe not... I dunno...
More later... if not...
More tomorrow...
"Single" for 2 days now...
Dates: 0
Guys I'd like to date now that I am "single": 1
Guys I've flirted with: 0
Times I've cried since "the break up": 3
